13 Double Standards Emotional Abusers and Controllers Exhibit in Relationships

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Emotionally abusive people, by definition, hold double standards in intimate relationships. They justify and excuse their actions but hold their partners to standards that demean and control.

1. Flirt with others and say it is harmless, but accuse you of being unfaithful

2. Insist that you never disclose to others private things they have told you, but betray you by disclosing to others things you said in confidence when being vulnerable

3. Keep finances separate or lie about spending but demand full disclosure of your finances

4. Withhold affection or sex when upset but demand you be affectionate or sexual regardless of how you feel

5. Blame you for their moods or abusive behavior but if you’re upset tell you it’s your problem, not theirs

6. Stonewall and withdraw when upset but bully you into disclosing what you are thinking even if you are hurt, anxious or upset

7. Humiliate you in front of others but fly into a rage if you say anything less than completely positive about them in public

8. Refuse to tell you where they go or what they are doing but demand to know your schedule and whereabouts

9. Become rageful or sulk if you don’t do what they want but ignore your feelings and requests

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