When we enter an adult relationship, we often assume that our partner is going to have the same adult experiences that we do – that is to say, they’re going to be as mature as we are. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of situations where women enter relationships with men who just haven’t seemed to grow up, and when this happens, the woman is often tasked with trying to raise her “man child” boyfriend. If this seems familiar to you, you may want to check out these signs to see if you’re in a relationship with a man child. If so, you may want to figure out what you want to do moving forward. Settle? Or find someone more your mental age?
1. YOU HAVE TO PICK UP AFTER HIM
He cannot pick up his clothes, his gadgets, his dishes, nothing. You may find that you’re constantly cleaning up after him, no matter what. You’re picking up his dirty laundry and putting it in the hamper, or you’re cleaning up his dirty dishes and putting them in the sick. He just leaves behind a whirlwind of dirty garbage behind him and you’re the one left to play maid.
“When people do not fully grow up, they farm out the hard work of adulthood to those closest to them. It can be subtle, but if you are making excuses, stop and reflect on why you’re picking up after a grown man?” says author Jill P. Weber.
You shouldn’t be playing mother or maid to your significant other, so if you notice that you’re the only one keeping the apartment clean, this may be a red flag that you’re actually dating a man-child.
2. HE PANICS AT THE MENTION OF COMMITMENT
You notice that any time you discuss commitment, or god forbid children, he doesn’t look like he’s interested in the conversation. In fact, he may even look panicked. After all, a man-child may find having to grow up to have his own children or commit to his partner one of the worst things that could ever happen to him. Of course, you always deserve someone who is on your same page when it comes to commitment, or what you want to happen in the future.
“Adults plan futures, strategize how they can reach those future goals, and take action now in service of those goals. [They] can’t think too far ahead because they are incapable of seeing their future selves in a clear light,” says psychologist and radio host Dr. Cooper Lawrence.
Therefore, if your partner can’t seem to stomach even a little talk of the future, it might be a red flag.