ohn Lennon once said, “We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”
We’ve all had relationships that have felt as if they would go on forever, but in the end they just couldn’t stand up to the stress or the problems that had been caused. Knowing the types of things that can cause a strong relationship to grow weak can help you avoid making the same errors.
Once you know the common issues that kill a relationship, you’ll be better equipped to either avoid them, or work on the problems and make your relationship strong again.
No one wants to think that they’re being unkind to their significant other. And usually, they aren’t being unkind in an overt or cruel way. But rather, a time comes in a relationship where couples are no longer supporting one another unconditionally. Instead, you may start saying “no” to things that your significant other asks of you. This unkindness is subtler, and it can grow into resentment of feeling as if your partner doesn’t care about you.
How to avoid it?
In order to avoid this, make sure that you give your partner your full attention when they ask something of you. Say ‘yes’ more often. Let your partner know you care about them by accepting what they’re saying to you.
Remember, “Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go,” says certified Gottman therapist Carrie Cole, M.Ed., LPC-S.